


Never Gonna Let Go

by dementorsatemysoup



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Crushes, Fluff, Getting Together, Holding Hands, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-04-26 05:28:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14395287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dementorsatemysoup/pseuds/dementorsatemysoup
Summary: Molly's crush on Caleb is obvious to everyone... except Caleb.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write Widomauk so I wrote some Widomauk... Thank you for reading and drop me a comment if you'd like.

Molly notices Caleb heading towards a group of paladins, head bent, face buried in his book, and hurries forward, dropping an arm around his shoulder and steering him away from the men.

Startled, Caleb looks up from his book, face flushing when he realizes his mistake, and he murmurs, “Sorry.”

“Best to be careful, dear. In my experience, running headlong into any group usual ends with elbows in places they should not be,” Molly advises, guiding Caleb down the street, arm still casually draped over his shoulder.

Caleb murmurs noncommittally, eyes drifting back to the pages of his book, and Molly takes that as his cue to be Caleb’s eyes on the short walk back to the tavern.

When they return, Molly drops his arm to his side, releasing Caleb from his loose hold, vehemently refusing to acknowledge the fact that he misses the warm body that had been pressed against his, sighing softly.

He watches as Caleb heads towards an empty table, dropping down into a chair, and with another sigh Molly follows him, sitting in the chair directly to his right, propping his head up with his fist so he can watch Caleb.

Even covered in dirt and grime, Caleb is breathtakingly beautiful. His pale blue eyes rapidly moving across the book’s pages, absorbing every last detail like a man who hasn’t had water in weeks; his red hair falling into his face, no doubt obscuring his vision, yet he doesn’t bother pushing it away; too preoccupied.

Molly’s fingers twitch with the need to reach out and brush the stray bits of red hair off his forehead, and he curls his free hand into a fist, placing it in his lap. It’s one thing to casually put an arm around his shoulder, it’s completely different to just randomly touch his face. Molly shrugs, knowing he could probably get away with it, flash Caleb a cheeky grin, act as if he’s just being his overly affectionate self, but he feels like if he crossed that line he’d be entering a territory he’s not quite ready to explore. At least not yet.

“Why are you staring at Caleb?” Jester asks quite loudly, popping up behind Molly, startling both him and Caleb.

Molly jumps up, knocking his chair over, and he can feel Caleb looking at him as he addresses Jester, “I have no idea what you’re talking about, but if I did it’s best if you kept your observations to yourself.” He gives her a kind smile and a cheery wink, tipping his head, and hurries up the stairs, shoulders tensing when he feels two sets of eyes on his back.

* * *

 

It’s night three of sleeping in the back of the cart and Molly is pretty sure his back is never going to be the same. He works a crick out of his neck, wincing when he feels a pop, and closes his eyes. They snap open a moment later when the cart hits a pothole, jostling everyone around, and he hears Fjord grumble from the back.

“Sorry,” Beau calls over her shoulder, holding the reins loosely in her hands. She had volunteered to drive through the night, pushing her night vision goggles over her eyes, and Molly is certain she’s hitting every bump on purpose so she doesn’t have to be the only one awake. He’ll never admit it, but he doesn’t exactly blame her; he’d driven the cart last night and he’s pretty sure these woods are haunted.

Everyone settles back down, Nott and Jester huddling against each other across from Molly and Caleb, eyes closed, breath evening out quickly, and Molly smiles softly at them. He’s never been able to fall asleep easily, remembering the first few weeks with the circus when he’d wander around late into the night hoping to tire himself out so he could get a few hours of sleep, and a part of him envies the girls.

He feels Caleb shift next to him, his head settling on Molly’s shoulder, and Molly stills, barely breathing, afraid that if he moves he’ll ruin this moment. He knows Caleb isn’t asleep, but he’s close; his eyes are closed, his body is as relaxed as it can be in the back of a cramped cart, and it’s only a matter of time before he completely nods off.

It wouldn’t take a lot to drop his head on top of Caleb’s. A few inches, a careful maneuver so he doesn’t accidentally jab Caleb with his horns or his hair doesn’t get caught in his piercings; Molly knows he could do it.

A soft cough sounds from the back of the cart and Molly’s eyes dart towards the noise, Fjord watching him with an unreadable expression on his face, and Molly knows the moment is gone. He sighs, tilting his head back until it rests against the back of the cart, closing his eyes; more annoyed with himself than Fjord.

* * *

 Caleb is a light weight. The whole group knows this; Nott having warned them every time they’ve had a celebratory drink. With two mugs of ale in him, Caleb is willing to do any trick Jester asks him to do; once he walked up to a burly dwarf and tried to flirt with him because Beau dared him he couldn’t; and even Fjord, who usually tries to steer Caleb towards his room the moment he starts getting tipsy, once got into a heated argument with him about some war Molly has never heard of that lasted almost an hour and ended with Caleb throwing up on Fjord’s boots.

He doesn’t drink often, mostly passing his drinks under the table to Nott and pretending he’s enjoying them, but tonight Molly notices that Jester has bought Caleb two giant flagons of mead. He manages to steal the first one, claiming he’s too tired to go up and buy his own (and he’d have to be oblivious to not see the look of gratitude in Caleb’s eyes), but Molly isn’t quick enough to steal the second one (it doesn’t help that Jester kept slapping his hand away) and by the time he’s finished with it, Caleb is yelling about some book he read ten years ago and how it should have never been written.

“The author didn’t even know his own characters,” Caleb shouts, pounding his fists on the table, startling the party sitting at the table behind them. “It didn’t even teach me anything...”

“No edubation for you,” Beau jests softly and Fjord snorts into his mug.

“That wasn’t funny the first time,” Caleb grumbles reaching for his mostly empty flagon, but Molly quickly grabs it and sets it just out of his reach.

“Perhaps you’ve had enough,” he says with a kind smile, fighting the urge to grin when Caleb tries to glare at him; looking more like a sad puppy than a grown man.

“Maybe Molly should carry you up to your room,” Jester suggests with an innocent smile, but Molly can see the mischief flickering in her eyes. “Seeing as you’re probably going to fall down if you try to walk.”

“I can walk,” Caleb says sullenly, getting to his feet, only to drop back into his chair. “No, it appears I cannot.”

Molly shakes his head, a fond smile on his face, and gets to his feet. He tosses Jester a knowing look and sarcastically says, “Observant aren’t you.”

Her eyes widen and she shakes her head slowly. “I have no idea what you mean, Molly.” She can’t quite keep the smile off her face and Molly gently pats her head.

“C’mon,” Molly says, getting a shoulder under Caleb, and he hefts him to his feet. They stagger for a brief moment, but Molly manages to keep them upright and they stumble towards the stairs.

“I really can walk,” Caleb insists, leaning heavily into Molly’s side. “I just need to get my feet.” He trails off into Zemnian, murmuring softly, and it takes Molly a moment to realize he’s singing.

“What’s that you’re singing?” he asks curiously.

“An old lullaby,” Caleb responds, body sagging further into Molly.

“Well save it until we’re upstairs. I’d rather you stayed upright for as long as possible. I’m not as strong as I appear.” Molly doesn’t want to think about having to attempt to actually carry Caleb. He’ll probably drop him and that’s the last thing he wants to do at this moment; or any moment really.

They manage to get into Caleb and Nott’s room, Caleb collapsing face first onto his bed, and Molly gently pulls his boots off. He tries to pull the blankets out from under Caleb, giving up when he realizes they’re just a tangled mess, and shrugs his jacket off instead, draping it over his body.

“You’re very kind, Mollymauk,” Caleb murmurs, turning over onto his side, blearily looking up at Molly with a soft smile on his face.

Molly bends over him, resting one hand against the back of his head, and whispers, “And you’re very drunk.” He presses a kiss to Caleb’s forehead, smoothing out his hair, and straightens up.

He turns to leave, taking a step back when he finds Nott watching him from the doorway. He coughs softly, nodding down at her, and says, “G’night.”

“Good night,” she responds slowly, eyes darting between him and Caleb, and Molly coughs again, quickly looking over his shoulder at Caleb’s sleeping form before hurrying out of the room.

* * *

 Molly notices that Caleb spends his money quickly. Usually on magic supplies or ink or paper; stuff he needs but is far too expensive for their means. Odd jobs here and there that may or may not pay well isn’t exactly the steadiest way to make a living. Nott offers him money when she can, but for the most part Caleb is usually broke mere hours after getting any amount of gold.

He’s standing at the counter, counting out the coins he has, face falling when he realizes he’s short three gold. Molly listens to Caleb stammer through an explanation, trying to pull at the shop keeper’s heart strings and maybe getting himself a discount in the process, but the shrewd gnome vehemently shakes his head, demanding the rest of the gold otherwise he’ll have to put the supplies back.

Molly steps forward, counting out the three gold, and says, “Compassion goes a long way, friend.”

“Piss off,” the gnome grumbles, sliding all the gold and silver into his tin box, and Molly fights the urge to flip him off, instead helping Caleb gather his supplies.

“Makes me miss Pumat,” Molly says the moment they’re outside, arms full of paper and ink. Caleb nods, struggling to keep his purchases from falling to the ground. “You alright?”

“Ja.” Caleb looks up, offering Molly a weak smile. “I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

He nods again, looking broodily at the ground, and Molly sighs softly. Juggling the stuff in his arms, he reaches out and gently pats Caleb’s shoulder, offering him a soft smile. “You can tell me. If something is bothering you. Or not. It’s really up to you.”

Caleb shrugs, drawing in a slow breath. “Do you think I...?” he trails off, shaking his head. “It is nothing, Molly. I promise.”

“If it’s the shop keep, he’s probably having an off day. We all have them. Best to put him out of your mind.”

“It’s not him.”

“Is it the gold?” Caleb shifts uncomfortably and Molly sighs. “Caleb, honestly, it’s just three gold. We’ve given you gold before.” Nott might be the one who gives him the most, her maternal instincts kicking in more often than even she likes to admit, but everyone in the group has spared a gold or two if Caleb needed it.

“I know, but...”

“Did someone say something to you?”

Caleb shakes his head, clutching his paper and ink tighter to his chest. “Nein.”

“Good because we won’t. Listen, it’s just a few gold, and if you’re worried about it you can pay us back, but we’re not going to expect you to. I know what’s it like to be poor, so I’m willing to share whatever I can if you, or anyone, needs it. Okay?”

Caleb nods, shooting Molly a fleeting glance before looking at the ground again. He’s quiet the rest of the walk back to the tavern, but he offers Molly a soft, “Thank you,” when they walk through the doors. He takes his stuff, giving Molly a shy smile, and hurries up the stairs.

Beau appears at Molly’s side, eyes tracking Caleb, and she asks, “Are you ever gonna make a move or are we gonna have to deal with this UST bullshit for the next year?”

“Mind your business,” Molly grumbles, stalking away from her, shoulders tensing when he hears her snort.

* * *

Yasha returns later that week, tired and worn out, but happy to see everyone. Molly hugs her first, giving her a few seconds warning before Jester sees her and screams, dashing across the room and jumping at her, hugging her tightly.

The rest of the party joins her, greeting Yasha warmly, and she gives them a tired smile. Jester grabs her hand, dragging her across the room, already chatting animatedly about their latest adventure, Nott skipping along next to them and interjecting whenever Jester misses something.

Fjord and Beau follow, Fjord telling Jester to breathe in between sentences so she doesn’t pass out. She waves her hand at him, unconcerned, almost hitting Yasha in the face.

Molly hangs back, arms hanging at his sides, a warm smile on his face. It’s nice; having everyone in The Mighty Nein back together again. Like his family is complete.

He jumps when a hand slips into his, callused fingers wrapping gently around his, and Caleb murmurs, “It’s good to see Yasha.”

Chest fluttering, Molly swallows heavily and nods. “Yeah,” he says softly, voice cracking.

Molly’s eyes catch Yasha’s, a knowing smile on her face, and he smiles back, looking down at his and Caleb’s clasped hands. He squeezes his fingers, standing up on his toes to softly kiss his cheek.

“Shall we go and join the others?” he asks curiously, lips moving against Caleb’s skin.

Flushing, Caleb nods, and Molly grins and gently pulls him towards the others. He has a feeling Jester and Nott are going to notice first, and he really hopes they don’t make a scene.

They totally make a scene.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never been the biggest fan of books/stories that are entirely in one person's POV (I'm guilty of writing my fair share and even now I really wanna go back and rewrite some of them with a second or third POV) so when I wrote the first part of this I toyed with the idea of writing a second chapter in Caleb's POV. Tonight, while at work, I kinda started planning this and then I figured why not write a second chapter. So, here we are.
> 
> Enjoy and thank you so much for all the lovely comments last chapter :)

"Did you know Molly was watching you?"

Caleb tears his eyes away from Mollymauk's retreating form, his gaze settling on Jester's openly curious face. She's trying to look innocent, but Caleb sees the mischief in her eyes, notes the small smirk playing across her face, and he immediately decides he wants nothing to do with whatever she's talking about, shaking his head slowly. "I'm sure he was not looking at me."

"He was," Jester insists, picking up the book Caleb had abandoned on the table. She turns it upside down, squinting at the words. "He had that look on his face. You know the one." She raises her eyebrows, nodding slowly, smiling knowingly, and Caleb can't help sighing.

"I don't," he admits, grabbing for his book, but she skips out of his reach, putting the book on her head. "Please give me back my book."

"Do you think Molly is cuuuuute?" Jester asks in a sing song voice, ignoring Caleb, letting his book slide off her head and into her hands.

"I haven't given it much thought," Caleb says, watching his book carefully. It's very old and he's waiting for the cover to fall off. "Jester, really, I just want to read my book."

"What about him is cutest?" Jester skips around the room, pretending to read Caleb's book but really just skimming the words. "His nose? Maybe his hair? His coat?"

Caleb sighs again, suddenly very tired. "I honestly have no clue. I haven't really given any of your looks much thought." It's a small lie, he's had fleeting thoughts here or there, but he doubts those count. "Can I please have my book back?"

"What about his butt?"

Caleb stands up just as Jester moves past him, halting her skipping. He gives her a tight lipped, yet kind, smile and takes his book from her. "Do you think it is appropriate to be speaking of Molly's anything without him in the room?"

"I don't think Molly would mind," Jester whispers conspiratorially, "especially if  _you're_ the one who's talking about it."

"I think he would." Caleb turns to leave but stops when Jester calls his name. He turns, giving her a questioning look, not liking the grin on her face. "What?"

"You've seen Molly's dick, right?" Caleb's face turns a brilliant red and Jester starts giggling. "How big would you say...?"

"Good night, Jester," Caleb says loudly, hurrying towards the stairs.

"Caleb you did not answer me!" Jester yells after him. "And it's not even dark out!"

* * *

"Hey Caleb, got a second?"

Caleb looks up from his coat, needle and thread held loosely in his hand, watching as Fjord stands a few feet from him, an unreadable expression on his face. Furrowing his eyebrows, Caleb puts his coat and sewing supplies aside, sliding off the back of the cart, and follows Fjord towards a small clearing.

He watches Fjord pace back and forth, agitated, his neck flushed, and Caleb opens his mouth to ask what's wrong, but his words catch in his throat when Fjord bluntly asks, "Are you seeing anyone in the group?"

Taken aback, Caleb rasps, "W-what?"

"I don't mind," Fjord says in a rush, red creeping across his face, "and neither would the rest of the group. I just, if you were, and you ever need a room to yourself, I'd be happy to bunk with Nott." His eyes widen in horror when he realizes what he said and he quickly adds, "Not that, you know, you're doing anything. And even if you were, that is your business. I just thought, uh, I'd offer."

Caleb can feel his ears burning red and he coughs, averting his gaze from Fjord's face. He clears his throat and softly says, "I am not seeing anyone."

"Y-you're not?" Caleb shakes his head and he hears Fjord sigh loudly. "Are you sure?"

"I think I would know."

He can see Fjord shifting uncomfortably out of the corner of his eye, kicking lightly at the air, and Caleb feels like he should say something, but he only manages another quiet cough. He kind of wishes the ground would open up and swallow him whole, but unfortunately that doesn't happen. With another cough, he whispers, "I should go."

"Yeah," Fjord agrees, nodding slowly. "Yeah, okay."

* * *

 Caleb wakes with a headache and Molly's coat draped over his shoulders. He sits up, the ostentatious coat pooling in his lap, shielding his eyes from the sunlight streaming in through the window of his and Nott's room, groaning softly. He jumps when a glass of water appears under his nose, Nott standing by the bed. He takes it, softly thanking her, and watches as she crosses the room and yanks the curtains closed, the room dimming. She turns to look at him, leaning against the windowsill and crossing her arms, and Caleb quietly asks, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she replies coolly. "Are you okay?"

"My head hurts," Caleb admits, sipping the water slowly. It's not great, but it's better than nothing. "How did I get up here?"

"Molly helped you," Nott answers and her yellow eyes dart towards the coat still sitting in Caleb's lap before settling on his face again. "What do you remember from last night?"

Caleb is not used to blank spots in his memory, and he hates how he can only remember bits and pieces from last night, but he does recall Jester buying him two flagons of mead. He remembers Molly taking the first one from him, mentioning something about being too tired to get his own, and Caleb had given him a grateful smile. After the second one, the one Jester stopped Molly from stealing, things start to get spotty.

"Jester bought me drinks," Caleb tells Nott when he realizes he's been quiet for far too long. "I only had one because Molly..."

"...took the first one." Nott nods. "Anything else?" She waits patiently as Caleb wracks his brain, but she still has that cool look on her face. Almost as if she's mad at him, and Caleb hopes he didn't do anything stupid last night to piss her off.

"Apparently Mollymauk brought me upstairs," Caleb supplies, only partially joking, the small smile falling from his face when Nott sighs and rolls her eyes. "What?"

"Are you sleeping with Molly?" Nott asks bluntly, much like Fjord did a few days ago, but her face doesn't turn a startling red. Instead she looks betrayed, like Caleb had been keeping this big secret from her, and the only thing he can do is gape at her. "If you are I'm not mad," Nott continues, tapping her foot in irritation, "I'm just a little hurt you wouldn't tell me."

"I am not..." Caleb swears softly in Zemnian, putting his glass of water on the bedside table so he can rub the back of his head. "Why do you think I'm sleeping..." he trails off, face heating up, and stares intently at his lap. "Why?"

Nott sighs softly and pushes away from the windowsill. She crosses the room, crawling onto the bed, and kneels in front of Caleb. She picks up the sleeve of Molly's coat and says, "He doesn't let anyone near this thing. Anyone. Once Jester mentioned she was cold and instead of shrugging his jacket off he gave her a blanket from his bag. He doesn't even let Yasha near this coat and she's like his best friend." She waves the sleeve in Caleb's face. "Why would he randomly give up his precious coat if you two weren't doing something?"

Caleb shrugs, toying with one of the sequins on Molly's jacket. "It is a little strange, I guess."

"You guess?"

"Well, we're not doing anything," Caleb says quickly, a little annoyed. "He probably doesn't like me."

"What's not to like," Nott exclaims, dropping the sleeve and putting her hands on her hips. "You're handsome and smart, really smart, and you can be funny when you want to be. If he doesn't like you he's an idiot!"

"Nott..." He fights a smile, shaking his head. "I don't even know if I like him."

"And that's fine, too." Nott reaches out, patting his hand gently. "I doubt he's going anywhere. Take all the time you need." She scrambles off the bed, heading towards the door, but stops and turns back to look at him. "If you two do decide to do stuff, can you let me know so I don't walk in on anything. I've seen you both naked enough from the baths, thank you very much." She shudders, turning away, and Caleb's ears begin to burn.

* * *

Caleb digs through his bag, looking for any loose gold he may have rolling around at the bottom, jumping when a hand clamps down on his shoulder. He looks up, heart hammering away in his chest, curling his hand into a fist when he finds Beau smirking down at him, holding a mug full of something that smells strong enough to make Caleb's head swim. She offers him some of whatever she's drinking but he shakes his head, returning his attention to his bag.

"Whacha doing?" Beau asks curiously, dropping into the chair across from Caleb. She puts her feet on the table, tilting her chair back onto two legs, sipping her drink slowly, watching him curiously.

"Waiting for Molly," Caleb answers without looking up, knowing he has more gold somewhere in this bag.

"Going on a date?" The coins slip out of Caleb's hand, disappearing into the confines of his bag, and he looks up quickly, eyes wide, watching as Beau chuckles softly. "I'm joking, dude. Calm down." She takes another drink, studying him through narrowed eyes. "He ever talk to you about-" she makes a face, "- _feelings_ or whatever?"

"No." Caleb busies himself with his bag again, hating how hot his face feels. He's getting a little tired of everyone discussing his and Molly's apparent relationship with him when he, himself, hasn't even figured out if he likes Molly. Or if Molly likes him for that matter.

"Would you care if he did?"

"I have not given it much thought," he lies. He's given it a lot of thought, spent a few sleepless nights thinking about, and he still doesn't know, but Beau doesn't need to know any of this; it's really not her business.

"Uh-huh." She drinks more from her mug, rocking back and forth on her chair. "The guy'd probably do anything for you, you know?"

"I doubt it," Caleb mutters, glaring into his bag, pretending to be counting his coins but really hiding his red face.

"He would," Beau insists, draining the rest of her mug. She slams it on the table, chair legs banging into the floor when she drops her feet from the table. She stands, giving Caleb's shoulder a friendly punch, and says, "Guy'd probably blow you if you asked." She walks away, weaving towards the bar, and Caleb lets out a shaky breath.

"Ready to go?" Molly asks, coming down the stairs, jacket slung casually over his shoulder.

Mutely, Caleb nods, jumping to his feet and hurries out of the tavern, ignoring the thumbs up Beau gives him as he walks past her.

* * *

Caleb is distracted, walking quickly through the streets with his head down, too much on his mind and not enough time to process it all, so he doesn't see the wall of flesh until he walks right into it. He falls back but a pair of hands reach out, grabbing his shoulders and keeping him upright. He mutters an apology, looking up, a surprised smile crossing his face when he sees Yasha looking down at him.

"Hello," he greets warmly.

"Hi," she replies, dropping her hands from his shoulders. "Are you okay?"

"Ja," he answers, nodding. "I did not mean to run into you. I am sorry."

"It's fine."

They stand there awkwardly for a few moments before Caleb asks, "When did you get back?"

"A few hours ago." Yasha crosses her arms, hunching a little into herself, and Caleb can't help empathizing with her; he's not the best at small talk either.

"Have you seen Mollymauk and the others?"

"No, you're the first one." Something flickers in her eyes and she curiously asks, "How is he? Molly?"

"He seems fine," Caleb answers with a small shrug. "We haven't had anything exciting happen in a while. I suspect him and Jester are going to cause a ruckus soon."

A small smile appears on her face and Yasha nods. "Sounds like them." She shifts, suddenly uncomfortable. "He's a good guy."

"I know." It took Caleb a while to warm up to Molly, but now he can't quite picture his life without him in it.

"He's made some mistakes and, you know, there's a whole life before he became who he is that he doesn't understand nor does he want anything to do with," she trails off, sighing. "I just want him to be happy, you know."

Caleb nods slowly, knowing exactly what Yasha meant. He's been thinking a lot lately, trying to figure out how he feels, and while a part of him will always feel like he's incapable of making anyone happy, a much larger part thinks he should at least give it a shot. He's starting to think he might like Molly, he's pretty sure Molly likes him (if he is to believe the others), and he's willing to try even if he's a little afraid of everything crashing and burning.

"Would you like to walk back to the tavern with me?" Caleb asks curiously and Yasha nods.

Caleb allows Yasha to enter the tavern first, watching the party's reunion with her through the window. He smiles softly, shaking his head when he sees Jester practically drag Yasha across the room, the others following on their heels except for Molly. He's standing by himself, arms hanging loosely at his sides, a fond smile on his face as he watches the others. Caleb studies him for a moment, admitting to himself that Molly is strikingly beautiful, even in the dim light from the tavern's candlelit common area. He's also loud and flashy and overly affectionate, everything Caleb is not, but he's soft and kind, too. Some might say too kind, but Caleb thinks that's what makes him Mollymauk.

He feels his heart flutter in his chest and he drawn in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.  _It's now or never_.

Caleb walks inside.


End file.
